


Save Me From My Mistakes

by Sang_argente



Series: wincestmas 2017 [7]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Love Confessions, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-07 00:05:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13422480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sang_argente/pseuds/Sang_argente
Summary: He doesn't know what Sam is trying to avoid or hide but he can see the toll it's taking on him.





	Save Me From My Mistakes

Dean's worried and he's not afraid to admit it. At least, not to himself. Sammy, his precious baby boy, has been acting weird for weeks. His affectionate, loving little brother has pulled away from any touches, slept on the couch, and been gone off to school before Dean even wakes up. He doesn't come back until Dean's left for work. The only time Dean really sees his little brother is if he wakes up in the middle of the night to piss and catches Sam on the couch.

It's been like this for over a month and Dean is tired of it. He doesn't know what Sam is trying to avoid or hide but he can see the toll it's taking on him. He's thinner than he's been since Dean spent the summer at Sonny’s and the dark circles under his eyes are worse than when he first learned of the supernatural.   
Naturally, Dean is turning to extreme measures.

He skips work and decides to corner Sam at school. He's been sitting in the Impala for over an hour, waiting for Sam when he finally spots him. He knows Sam has seen him too because his face drains of all color. Dean doesn't know what's up with him but it kills him to see his little brother trudge over to the car, their only true home, like he's headed to the electric chair.

“Get in the car,” Dean says before Sam can even open his mouth. He regrets the way it causes Sam to tense, but he can't help it. He's scares out of his mind and that puts him on edge.

They drive to the motel in complete silence, unusual for Dean and he knows it's throwing Sam off. When he parks, he pulls Sam out of the drivers side and holds onto him until they're in the room, scared he's going to slip away again.

Dean sits them both down on the couch and stares at Sam.

“Talk to me,” Dean says.

Sam blinks. “What?”

“Talk to me,” Dean repeats, half frustrated and half terrified. “Tell me what's going on with you. Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven't been avoiding you!” Sam denies. 

“You're never home when I am, you don't sleep in the bed, you sneak around,” Dean trails off as a horrible thought hits him for the first time in all of this. “Sam...is this...is this about us?”

“What about us?”

“Are you...do you want to stop?”

“What?” Sam asks, confused. His eyes light up in the next second, scared. “No! I love you, Dean. I don't ever want to lose you.”

Something clicks in Dean's head. There's certain ways Sam says certain things and his _I don't ever want to lose you_ is not the way he says it when he means _we're soulmates and I'll die without you_. This is more like _something happened and I'm scared you'll leave_. Dean's blood turns to ice and his vision turns red.

“Who am I killing?”

Sam tries to brush it off, tries to talk his way out of it. “What? Nobody, Dean, what are you talking about?”

“Sammy.”

And that says it all. It says _I love you_ and _you're mine_ and _I'd kill for you_. It says _I'm here_ and _I'll never leave_ and _I'll always be yours_. It says enough to bring tears to Sam's eyes. He brings his hands up to wipe his face with his too long sweater sleeves but before he can he breaks into heavy sobs.

“I'm sorry!” Sam cries, wrapping his arms around him. “I'm sorry, it's all my fault, I should've listened.”

Dean reaches for Sam and pulls him into his lap, shushing and cooing and crooning. He pets at Sam's hair and rubs against Sam's back as he rocks them back and forth.

“You can tell me, Sammy,” Dean says. He's quiet but he knows Sam can hear him under his crying. “It's not your fault. Just tell me and big brother will make it all go away.”

Sam sniffles for a little while longer but the silence gets to him like nothing else.

“Remember that day in Dayton? Dad was gone and I begged you to take me out to that fair? You said we should stay home. You were right.”

Dean does remember that day. Sam had been so close to spring break he could almost taste it and he'd wanted a day out. He'd tried to bargain him down to pizza and movies in the room because he'd been tired but Sam knew how to push his buttons and it had been fun. It had been Sam's first fair and Dean had gone all out, playing games and buying food and winning prizes. He'd played the adoring boyfriend card all day and Sam ate it up, blushing and giggling and making out with him during the fireworks. Dean had thought they'd gotten a day free of real life, but he's realizing now that he was wrong. He was wrong and stupid and his baby boy had been hurt because of it.

“What happened?”

“Some guys from school. They saw us behind the fortune teller tent, when you were joking about me meeting the love of my life like the woman said. They saw me kiss you. They heard me.”

Tightening his arms around Sam, Dean tries to resist the urge to pick him up and run. They're two thousand miles from Dayton but this will always stay in Sam's memories. There's no running from that.

“They heard me,” Sam repeats, ashamed. “They heard me when I said _I met the love of my life the day I was born, big brother_.”

“Sam,” Dean says. It's all he can say. He'd told Sam when they first started this that anyone knowing would bring trouble. Back then, he'd been thinking of Dad or Bobby or Pastor Jim. Not some limp dick chucklefucks from Sam's school. “How bad?”

Sam laughs but it's dry and mirthless. It honestly sounds like it hurts.

“They didn't tell anybody,” Sam says. “Thank God. But they did catch me out behind the gym and beat the Hell out of me. Literally, if you believe the things they were spitting at me. Racked up an impressive set of bruises along with three cracked ribs and a broken wrist. I could've taken them, but there was five of them and only one of me.”

Suddenly, Sam's crying again. This time it's quiet, lots of shaking and whimpering. Somehow it hurts Dean more than the great wails from earlier.

“It was all my fault! I should've listened to you. We could've had a great night but instead I had to be stupid. I'm always so stupid.”

Dean's scared out of his wits when Sam starts smacking at the side of his head, mumbling about being stupid. The terror switches to anger pretty quick and he grabs Sam's thin wrists in one hand, bringing Sam's face close to his with the other.

“Quit that!” Dean snaps, trying to stay strong as Sam flinches. “You are not stupid! It was a date, Sammy. You were happy and excited and let your guard down. It is not your fault that we were caught or that those pricks are too close-minded to understand what we have or that they took that out on you. You should've told me so I could've told you this weeks ago instead of being miserable.”

“I didn't want you to know,” Sam says fiercely.

“Obviously,” Dean says trying to ignore the twinge of hurt Sam's words cause. His little brother is upset and not thinking clearly, he can let it go.

But Sam won't, not when he recognizes that look in Dean's eyes.

“I didn't want you to know because I didn't want you to know I fucked up. I didn't want you to tell me that if I was too stupid to keep my mouth shut then we'd be done. I know how scared you are at the thought of Dad finding out. I know if you thought that was gonna happen you'd drop me in a heartbeat.”

“No!” Dean says, offended. “Sam, I don't want Dad to find out because you're underage. He can take you away from me and he will. Goddammit, Sammy, I love you!”

Sam stares at him in shock, shining eyes and pink cheeks. A smile slowly curves his lips and from the look on his face Dean would never know he's spent the last hour bawling his eyes out.

“I love you, too,” Sam says, slow and awed like he's not sure if he should say that.

It's then that Dean realizes that despite all the talk of lifelong loves and soulmates and forever, he hasn't once told Sam that he loves him. At least, not like this. He can feel his face getting hot and he knows he's got to get out of this right now.

“I love you,” Dean says again. He tries to ignore how shy and soft he sounds and forces the rest of his words out. “I love you so much that the next time we're out in Dayton, even if it's years from now, you can point those sons of bitches out to me and I'll shoot them in the middle of town no questions asked.”

“Dean!” Sam scolds but he's laughing and it's the most beautiful thing Dean's heard all month.

**Author's Note:**

> this is part of wincestmas for sweetsammywincester [tumblr.](http://delicatesammy.tumblr.com)


End file.
